RPG Diaries: Achtung! Cthulhu

Nazis! Cthulhu! Weird dreams! A broken radio that we really need to work. It’s all part of Achtung! Cthulhu, a role-playing game that my group has been playing for several weeks. In this series I’ll give you the highlights of our latest session. Follow along with the story and our antics. Will the Nazis get us before the goat cult does? Will Cthulhu itself rise before us? Will Jack ever get that damn book translated?  Let’s find out.

The story so far

ChusheetanddiceIt’s 1939 and we’re five British soldiers who’ve parachuted into German-occupied France to establish a landing area for a large contingent of troops. We’ve each come up with a cover story for our presence in a small town. My character is C.M. Nelson, an American-born geologist who has joined the Military Geology Unit, mostly to bolster his career as a geologist. The other members or our group are a short Aussie named Jack who says “mate” a lot (like, a lot), an Austrian with a questionable past, a librarian and a historian. Somehow we ended up in the Army. OK.

To get  you up to speed quickly, we landed and carried out our first mission: to extract and informant and his family. After killing two Nazis via a needlessly elaborate plan ever that featured a bloodhound who needed to “go” near a bombed-out church (I fired my handgun twice and missed twice), we ran across a golf course and found the submarine that was waiting for us. Apparently there was a Nazi party in the clubhouse, but we were wise enough to avoid it.

This week’s action

Now we’re living in a small town, each with a cover story and a job. Well, most of us. The Austrian and I work in a copper mine by day. The librarian works in — ready? — a library, and our historian works as a farmhand. Jack the Aussie doesn’t have a job because he’s a total freeloader he’s busy translating an occult book we found. After arriving in the town, we learned of our secondary, covert mission: to identify and eradicate the occult happenings in the area.

Jack and I live in a skeezy, run-down hotel that’s very unpleasant. I’ve befriended Jocques, the town drunk who’s often at the hotel bar after hours. He’s given me some information about the town, and make me promise to stay away from the mine’s south tunnels.

As if that’s going to happen.

Yours truly, ready to kick some Nazi/Cthulhu/Goat Cultist butt

Yours truly, ready to kick some Nazi/Cthulhu/Goat Cultist butt

The others are posing as a married couple and living in a small house. Last week we met with local collaborators and shared the occult information we found. The next day, one of them was captured and taken to the local interrogation. Our librarian used her femine wiles to learn that he was to be interrogated the following day. Fearful that he’d give us up, we had a time-consuming and attention-grabbing conversation with him through a tiny window that led into his prison cell. At last, we acknowledged what had to be done. Jack left in protest while the historian tossed a grenade into the cell. Then we ran like hell.

Back at the mine, we came across a series of tunnels that led to a large cavern that contained ritual paintings and a bloody sled. Several smaller tunnels branched off of it and we followed them all. One led right to the kitchen of a sleeping cultist who was none too pleased to see us. After hiding his gun and interrogating him, we bound his hands and took him into the tunnels with us. Suddenly, horrific pipe music was heard that caused us all to take one damage and lose two sanity points. This rendered our captive into a blathering idiot. He was going on and on about “the god in woods.” So we shot him.

Meanwhile, we have a radio that we’re supposed to use to report back to our superiors. Jack made a mechanics roll to re-assemble it and smoke came out. So yeah, we’re working on that again.

Epic cliffhanger is epic

This week’s session ended on a huge cliffhanger. While exploring the mine, we found the cavern used for ritual activities. Our captor told us when the next ritual would be. Previously, a Nazi and his underlings searched the house that our companions are staying in, saying that they were interested in the house’s previous occupant (yeah, right). The general seemed super interested in occult books he found around there.


We had the idea to tell the Nazis that there would be some enemy activity in the very ritual chamber of the cavern, knowing that the murderous cult would be meeting there. When the night ended, we were hiding above the cavern. The robed figures arrived, complete with hooded victim on a bloodied sled. From one tunnel, the ear-splitting piping could be heard as their hungry god approached. On the other, the footsteps of a contingent of Nazis grew louder and louder.

Next week: an epic showdown as Nazis, cultists and an elder god meet! Here’s hoping nobody sees us!


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